I just read today that Shia LaBeouf was named by Forbes magazine as the top actor to give studios the best return on their investment. This calculation was based on LaBeouf having the good fortune of starring or co-starring in a number of Hollywood blockbusters or sequels, among them last year’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, that cinematic masterpiece, which pulled in $836 million and 2008′s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, another celluloid jewel, which garnered $787 worldwide.

In case you can’t detect sarcasm in my descriptions of these movies, I was being facetious. What I really don’t understand and haven’t for awhile is LaBeouf’s meteoric success. I don’t get it. If anyone should be prized and praised here, it should be LaBeouf’s management team who have managed to catapult an exceedingly uninteresting to the point of bland, not very attractive, marginally charismatic and not spectacularly talented (he’s adequate) kid to the top of the Hollywood pyramid. Seriously, I see nothing special about this kid but there is he–starring in major blockbusters one after another (including the upcoming sequel to Oliver Stone’s Wall Street–Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, in which Michael Douglas reprises his Oscar winning role as Gordon Gekko).

To me, he is about as compelling as stale hairspray or a very dry aftermint. I guess teenage girls must find him cute and cuddly. He does have a puppy-dog every boy quality that may account for his staggering success. I can’t fathom any other reason, can you?

Here’s the trailer to the Wall Street sequel:

Did you find this information helpful? If you did, consider donating.